[this is satire]
11/20/03: My editor Bartolomeo Pistola from Edizione Testa d’Uovo called and reported that the publishing house is very close with my book Night Thoughts: Reflections, Aphorisms, Epigrams, Etc. He predicted a February or March publication date. 11/20/03: My late friend Diavolo the Anarchist Cat’s son Diavolo Jr. called from Miami, where he was taking part in the FTAA protests. He said the town was in lockdown mode and the police were brutal. He said he pissed on the trouser leg of the infamous Miami Police Chief John Timoney. All day long Timoney strutted around town like a little Mussolini and everyone said, “That guy smells like cat piss!” Cat power! 11/23/03: Had dinner with Fritz the Cat. I had to tell him: Fritz, you are vulgar, simply vulgar. 11/24/03: Ordered some accessories for my new espresso machine. With J.’s debit card. 11/26/03: Wrote a new cycle of poems for my lover Evangelina. She will be staying here in the house with me for a week at Christmas while J. is away. Must remember to make J. buy wood for the fireplace. 11/28/03: Had lunch with Garfield. I continue to think that he has an eating disorder. When I went to the restroom, he stole some food from my plate! 11/29/03: J. and his friend Sarah are starting a new literary Web site. Perhaps I will allow them to publish an excerpt from my Night Thoughts to add a bit of legitimacy to their undertaking. 11/30/03: Got a safety deposit box at the bank to store my grooming kit in. Now J. will never be able to use it! 12/1/03: Had dinner with Evangelina. I took her hand in my paw, looked her in the eyes, and said, “Evangelina, I am in l-l-l-l-l-l-love ...” At that point the waiter caught our table on fire with the flambé he was preparing, ruining the mood.