by Rocky the Diabolical Cat™ I was lounging on the living room sofa, jotting notes in a spiral notebook for my essay "Time in a Bottle: Reflections on Jim Croce and Benedetto Croce," when I heard the back door open and close. My housemate J. came bounding into the room.
"Where have you been, dear fellow?" I asked. "Out in the garage 'visiting your friend Onan' as they say?"
"No, I've been out being a daredevil!" he blurted in his usual ungainly, nay, idiotic fashion.
"A daredevil," I said.
"A daredevil!" he blurted.
"Tell me, friend, in what manner have you been engaged in daredevilry?" I inquired.
"First I went over to the drugstore. I marched right back to the pharmacist and demanded a box of decongestants. And I took not one as directed, but two! I took two decongestants, Rocky! I ate them right there in front of the pharmacist! And I said, 'Look pharmacist, I just took not one but two decongestants!'"
"And what was the pharmacist's reply?" I asked.
"Nothing," he said. "I think she was too shocked. So then I drove home real, real fast, you know, like 38 in a 35 zone, that kind of thing!"
I lowered my head and looked at him over the top of my reading glasses. "Dear fellow," I said, "if you were any more 'daredevilish,' your behavior might just qualify for inclusion under the 'secondary side effects - rare and inconsequential' section of the package insert for those experimental pills your doctor gave you; you know, right after 'constipation' and 'tingling in the extremities.'"
Be sure to join Rocky at his Art Event "The Unveiling of the Official Portrait of Rocky the Diabolical Cat, Commissioned by the Italian Anarcho-Philosophical Cat Society of Rome" on Friday, Sept. 9 from 7 to 9 at Utrillo's Gallery, 3318 E. 10th St.