[this is satire]
by Rocky the Diabolical Cat™
"So, Rocky, what brings you in today?" my personal physician Dr. Juan Pagan asked as we sat in the examination room. "Juan, dear fellow, I must say that I have been feeling unhappy, discontent, annoyed, grumpy and pissy. What am I to do with my life?" I replied.
"Rocky, as you know I am a doctor of veterinary medicine, not a psychologist, so I am not really trained to give you advice of this nature," he said. "But as a longtime friend, I would be glad to hear you out."
"Well," I whispered confessionally, "I am just so unfulfilled! I have reached heights I never thought I would reach in my writing career, gained literary fame in Europe, took a tour of Italy, perfected the art of espresso preparation, possessed the finest women of Indianapolis, yet I feel so ... empty."
"Rocky, do you remember your Dream of Ms. O's Amniotic Fluid?" he asked.
"Why of course, dear fellow," I replied.
"I would suspect that you interpreted that dream as one of sexual conquest - you, Rocky, swimming in Ms. O's amniotic fluid, that is to say, her very womanhood," he said, smoothing his mustaches with his thumb and forefinger.
"Yes, that is correct," I agreed.
"Rocky, amniotic fluid is the liquid a baby floats in while inside the womb. I would suggest to you that your dream represented not sexual conquest, but was rather a foreshadowing of an impending change in your life, a rebirth, as it were," he explained.
"I dare say you're onto something, dear fellow!" I cried.
"So I think, my friend Rocky, you need to prepare yourself for a significant change in your life," he counseled.
"Juan, thank you for your sage advice. How much do I owe you for today?" I asked, pulling out J's debit card.
"Oh Rocky, don't mention it," the good doctor replied. "Just let me know how things turn out for you!"