I was sitting at the newly reopened Abbey last week sipping a coffee and reading an old Joseph Roth book when Rocky the Cat"s lover, Evangelina, stopped by my table. "Well, look who it is!" she said sardonically. "It"s the voyeur himself!"
"Pardon me? Voyeur?" I asked.
"Yes, J., Rocky and I saw you spying on us the other day when we were lying in the back yard. You should be ashamed of yourself! Don"t you have anything better to do? Why are you so jealous of my furry Lothario? Are you jealous of his plush blue-gray coat, soft as a teddy bear, that fur that my fingers cannot resist? Oh, you beast!" she exclaimed.
I rearranged myself in the chair. "Really, Evangelina, I apologize. I don"t know what came over me," I replied meekly.
"Perhaps you"re jealous of his mellifluous Spanish. Or perhaps you"re jealous because not only did he recite Paz to me, but I declaimed a bit of Neruda for him and he understood every word, he understood the allusions, the meanings implicit, their bearing upon our love affair. While you, of course, are still carrying around that pitiable Spanish pocket dictionary so you can say things like "hello." I think there is an English word for you: fink!" she said.
I rubbed my eyes and composed a witty retort, but no words came out of my mouth.
She concluded, "I daresay the real issue here is that he has that one thing you have always desired but can never have: a beautiful, intelligent Latina. So the next time we"re making love in the back yard and you"re peeping at us like some schoolboy in knickers, just remember that what you"re viewing is, for you, the unattainable. Good day!"