1/11/03: Visited my personal physician, Dr. Juan Pagan, for my annual check-up. As part of the examination he put a thermometer in my rear end. The indignity! 1/12/03-1/16/03: Slept on windowsill for a few days to recover from indignities of annual check-up. 1/17/03: Flew to Naples, Italy, to meet with my editor at Edizione Testa d"Uovo, Bartolomeo Pistola, and look at the uncorrected proofs of my book Night Thoughts: Reflections, Aphorisms, Epigrams, Etc. I spotted numerous spelling errors and alterations to my text. While examining the text I became so distraught I slapped Bartolomeo Pistola across the face - thwack! thwack! - with the leather gloves I was holding. He told me I was being a prima donna. I told him to find another genius cat to write for him, grabbed my manuscript and the proofs and left. After walking a block or two I had second thoughts and returned to Bartolomeo Pistola"s office. We made up and went out drinking. The Italian women! Mamma mia! 1/18/03: Took the train down to the ancient city of Ferentino where I met up with my friend Diavolo the Italian Anarchist Catô, whom I first met at the G8 demonstrations in Genoa a couple of years ago. We had an espresso, then hopped on Diavolo"s Vespa for a bit of prank-playing. Diavolo drove the bike with me perched on the rear. As we passed pedestrians, I sprayed on them. Hahahahahaha! "Diavolo," I told him, "you"re my kind of guy!" 1/19/03: Arrived back in the U.S. and was questioned extensively at the airport by the FBI for my "suspicious trip abroad" where I "consorted with suspicious elements" (I assume here they meant Diavolo). It was like something out of Solzhenitsyn! But I was released, not before spraying the interrogation room, of course.