My best friend David was sitting on the brick half-wall of my porch. I was on the porch swing, and Rocky the Cat with an Attitudeô was sitting in the Adirondack chair made of compressed wood by-products at the other end of the porch. Rocky was reading a book, stretching intermittently. A leaf, brittle and drained of life, fell from the tree in the yard and, upon its arrival on the ground, struck an ant on the head, rendering it senseless. "What"s His Majesty Rocky reading?" David asked me. "Something by Andrei Platonov, I think," I replied. "B-l-e-a-k; bleak," David said. "Yup, it"s been that way ever since Evangelina dumped him," I said. "Excuse me, geniuses, I can hear you talking about me over here," Rocky said. "Pardon us, Your Majesty, we didn"t mean to disturb you," David said. "My dear fellows, let me get something straight with you right here and now: Evangelina did not dump me. We came to a simultaneous bilateral and equitable agreement that it wasn"t working. And furthermore, I have a new love interest: Nena." "Nena? From Chicago?" David asked. "The one and only," Rocky said. "Rocky doesn"t know Nena too well, doesn"t know how picky she is," I whispered to David. "Rocky," I said loudly, "does Nena know that you"re missing your bottom right fang, the one you lost in that bar fight? Is she aware of your, shall we say, imperfection?" "Of course she does. I scanned a picture of myself and e-mailed it to her," Rocky replied. "She said that my imperfection "exists at that rare point where revulsion meets arousal" and that it excited within her "a new sort of eroticism." So there." "Wow, I didn"t know Nena was so, um, kinky," David said. "I suppose it is my particular charm that enables me to use even my imperfections to my advantage," Rocky said languidly, turning a page in his book.