I, Rocky the Cat with an Attitudeô, was lying on the sofa licking my paws a few weeks ago when I realized that I ought to give a little holiday present to my fans. I approached my publisher, Edizioni Testa d"Uovo, who magnanimously agreed to let a few tidbits from my upcoming book Night Thoughts: Reflections, Aphorisms, Epigrams, Etc. be published here. Enjoy these gems and have a happy holiday!
The inferiority of the human mind lies in that it can only conceive of the cat in relation to itself - it cannot grasp the notion of the cat as autonomous being; the superiority of the feline mind lies in the fact that it rarely bothers to think about humans. A friend asked why I broke up with a lover and I replied, "She reminded me of an old Cadillac with no muffler and bad shocks - heavy, loud and out of control." I periodically claw and bite my housemate J. Williams not to injure him, but rather to remind myself that I exist. That an untidy litterbox is not illegal under international law is a slap to the nose of every cat. Morris berated me for having so many ladyfriends; I replied, "Dear fellow, if you were not so emotionally distant you might have a few, too." As I observe the life of my housemate J. Williams I am reminded of the writings of the late novelist W.G. Sebald; my life, however, has no equal in literature, unless one considers, of course, various erotic memoirs. It is testimony to the ecological genius of the cat that his body is covered in fur; think of how much energy would be saved in the winter if humans had fur-covered bodies! I personally prefer the thermostat around 63 degrees. The day I wore a golfing tam on my head for a publicity photo was the blackest day of my life.