Cosmic discovery 

[this is satire]

[this is satire]
Last week, two orbiting X-ray observatories observed a supermassive black hole ripping apart and consuming a star. The event, detected by NASA’s Chandra and ESA’s XMM-Newton X-ray Observatories, mostly played out along existing theories, save for one surprise.
-The Grizzly Bear black hole-

NASA head scientist Dr. Dale Daleson told reporters that he and his team were shocked to see that the black hole was “clearly in the shape of a grizzly bear.” Images of the event have been seen by millions since NASA released their report and prevailing opinion is that the black hole does in fact appear to be an enormous bear plucking an apple from a tree and eating it.

Some pundits disagree, however, describing the event as a bear finding a discarded McDonald’s bag and tearing it apart for the freedom fries inside.

“It’s astounding,” Daleson said, his face paler than his normally pale scientist’s face. “It turns out black holes are just great, gravity-eating bears in space.”

Some scientists speculate that as technology improves, we may find that each black hole is a different animal. “Who knows?” Daleson speculated. “This is, remember, a supermassive black hole. Maybe other, smaller black holes are shaped like foxes or hedgehogs or even field mice.”

The biggest concern, Daleson said, is if there are “two and only two great big black hole bears out there and they meet up in the woods of space. I hate to think what might happen. If they swallow each other in their superbattle for hegemony of the cosmos, they might very likely take the entire universe with them. Hopefully,” he added, “that won’t come to pass in our lifetimes.”

Due to lack of new domain names available on the Internet, the current images of the grizzly bear black hole can be found at

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