SpongeBob Squarepants said he and his “good friend” Patrick joined after Focus on the Family Run By the Right-Wing Males accused the two of appearing in a “pro-homosexual video.”
“How in Neptune’s name can I be homosexual?” SpongeBob asked. “I don’t even have genitals!”
Focus on the Family Run By the Right-Wing Males spokesman Jethro Josiah was not convinced.
“Sponges can reproduce both sexually and asexually. So can starfish!” he said. “What kind of message is that to send to our children?”
Focus on the Family Run By the Right-Wing Males released a list of “suspicious” characters:
Bugs Bunny — transvestite — often dresses in drag.
Marcie, Peanuts — lesbian, bestiality — refers to Peppermint Patty as “sir,” seems to have a romantic interest in a canine World War I pilot.
Velma, Scooby Doo — lesbian — radical feminist, “butch” appearance.
Chip and Dale — homosexual — two guys living together, names similar to “Chippendale.”
Fred Flintstone — bisexual — wears an orange dress with triangles on it, nicknamed “Twinkletoes,” show’s theme features the lyrics “we’ll have a gay old time.”
Timon and Pumba — homosexual — live together, obsessed with crass “bathroom” humor, raised Simba to be such a wimp that Nala kept kicking his ass.
Richie Rich — homosexual — lousy at sports, oblivious to any female interest, un-masculine hairstyle and clothing.
Tinky Winky — homosexual — Brother Jared Fallwell said it best: “The character is clearly a fount of gayness. He is purple, the gay color, he has an antenna shaped like a triangle, the gay symbol, and he carries a purse, something all gay people do.”
Barney the Dinosaur — homosexual — another fount of gayness, he is purple (the gay pride color) and all his teachings are about love.