OK, now I'm starting to really get pissed off. I'm not just angry that we have a desperate president who'll do anything to win or steal the election; I'm not just dismayed at the way our nation is headed; I'm not even just mad at My Bitch Mitch's latest lies and obfuscations.
If Gannett wants to put out yet another lousy paper, that's fine. It's the hypocrisy that bothers me.
What's making me mad right now are dumbasses. I realize that "dumbass" is a subjective term; it's one that's even been leveled at me from time to time, believe it or not. But some actions are so outrageous that there's no other way to describe them except with that word.
For example, I'm mad at the dumbasses who wrote Indiana's liquor laws. You can go to a bar and get as trashed as you want on any given Sunday, but you can't buy a bottle of wine for cooking.
I'm also upset at dumbasses who pretend to be something they aren't. Take, for example, Republican gubernatorial nominee Mitch Daniels. For the first 40-plus years of his life, he was the man on the Monopoly board. He wore a top hat, carried a cane and dollar bills were flowing out of his pockets.
Now, all of a sudden, he's adopted the lifestyle of a Hoosier hillbilly. He talks in an Indiana drawl; he pretends to like people; and he acts like he's a good old boy from Parke County.
Of course, that will all change after the election, if he wins. He'll rip off the common-man mask and revert to the zillionaire lifestyle he's led his entire life. He'll forget the Parke County accent and immediately start giving away millions in state money to his rich friends.
Maybe Mitch isn't a dumbass after all. It's a rich person's job to get richer and to make the poor poorer. It's the people who buy into his B.S. who are dumbasses.
Speaking of, I can't resist mentioning the recent editorial from Intake editor Kevin Poortinga. It's as slick and deceptive as anything you'll ever see in print. He started out by dismissing the notion that Intake has a larger operating budget than NUVO.
Then he went on to talk about just how hard everyone there works. Their photographer sometimes takes as many as FOUR PICTURES A DAY! Their writers sometimes work on more than one story at once!
There's nothing that pisses me off more than a Lexus-driving, sushi-eating newspaper editor bitching about how damn hard his job is. Trust me. Journalism, especially the kind Intake practices, is far from the most strenuous job in the world.
Talk to a full-time mom. Talk to someone who works construction. Talk to someone in food service. Talk to someone in health care. Talk to a school teacher. Talk to some of our brave fighting men and women in Iraq.
Those are hot, sweaty jobs where the exhaustion level is high and the pay relatively low compared to the danger level.
Kevin, sitting around in a tweed blazer and thinking up story ideas like "Ten Ways To Eat A Sandwich" or "How To Climb a Flight of Stairs," is not hard physical labor.
More than that, he forgot to mention one very important thing. Intake is owned and operated by the Gannett Corp., one of the largest and most evil media corporations on earth. Gannett owns 99 daily newspapers, 22 television stations and Lord knows how many souls.
They're also the same people who produce The Indianapolis Star, that daily nuisance favored by retirees and shut-ins.
After years of trying and failing to persuade anyone under the age of 50 to read their daily papers, they started weekly papers in Indy, Louisville and Cincinnati, among other cities, to try and attract younger readers.
Their problem is, their weeklies provide the same boring junk that's in their daily paper, just wrapped up in an "edgy" bow. Many of the stories are recycled from USA Today and Gannett's other shitty papers, depriving Indianapolis writers a paycheck.
Gannett is the Wal-Mart of the media world. Time and time again, they have been accused of illegal monopolistic practices for trying to run smaller local newspapers into the ground, thereby leaving readers with no choice but Gannett's own dishwater-dull news product. See the book The Chain Gang or NUVO's own investigation, "Broken Trust," available on our Web site, for more details.
If Gannett wants to put out yet another lousy paper, that's fine. It's the hypocrisy that bothers me. If you're going to write something designed by and for rich people, at least have the balls to say so. If you're for killing the poor and seizing their assets, at least admit it.
The great thing is that this is failing all across the country. People are realizing that local independent businesses care more about them than multibillion dollar companies based out of state or out of the country. People are tired of being fooled into thinking that Wal-Mart really cares about the communities it invades.
People have stopped believing it from business and they've stopped believing it from their politicians.
We now know what a wrecking ball this administration has been to the economy, to our standing in the world, to freedom itself.
The only thing that people like us can do is point out the dumbasses in our midst and put them on notice: We're not going to believe your bullshit anymore.
America will return to greatness if people like us stand up. Help is on the way.