Of all the silly things that happened thanks to RFRA, one was the claim by the owners of Miracle Pizza that they appreciated having the right to not deliver pizza to a gay wedding. In response, a number of people with thick, sloping foreheads and bad taste in ethics and pizza donated almost a million dollars to "support" the small town grease disk slingers, because the world has completely lost its mind. While we have to tip our hats to the O'Connor family for maximizing profits on their manufactured, marinara martyr complex, we hope you'll choose one of these fine local establishments to serve pizza at your gay wedding.
This Irvington staple has garnered the praise of the entire city, and then a little more from outside the city. Recently, Food Network superstar Alton Brown gave it the two thumbs way up while he was in town. The local shop is famous for its crunchy, buttery crust, and they would happily set you up with some pies on your blessed day.
5646 E. Washington St., 356-6612, jockamopizza.com
We know, we know: this town has a pretty great variety of pizza available. But while many different pizza establishments have come and gone, Bazbeaux remains steadfast, serving up everything from the simple pepperoni to the Tchoupitoulas, made of Cajun shrimp, house roasted red pepper, green pepper, red onion, andouille sausage, fresh garlic. And if you're going to town, you might as well go in a Lincoln, so ask for a little bit of their creamy basil salad dressing to dip it in. They're also one of those lovely business that serves all Hoosiers, so call them if you need an enormous, exotic pie to satisfy the worldly tastes of your gay wedding guests.
329 Massachusetts Ave., 636-7662; 811 E. Westfield Blvd., 255-571; 111 W. Main St. (Carmel), 848-4488; bazbeaux.com
Lord knows why you'd serve this thick, saucy pizza casserole to folks wearing cocktail attire, but you do. Maybe you hail from Chicago and need a little taste of home. I don't judge anyone's love or pizza preference (just kidding, I judge the hell out of you if you prefer deep dish to thin crust, you heathen). Giordano's is poised to dominate the Indianapolis pizza market, and pretty soon there will likely be one near you, ready to serve your sauce-hungry guests and betrothed.
4110 E. 82nd St., 348-4085, giordanos.com
ALL HAIL THE GREAT PIZZA KING! Not only would most of us here at NUVO happily live in a feudal system lorded over by a pizza plutocrat, but we'd actively depose the current leader if it was, in fact, King of Pizza King. The regional restaurant has exploded across northeastern Indiana and has finally found a new home in Fountain Square. We would highly recommend a visit to this former hometown favorite that has become a favorite to many, and we're confident they'd happily prepare a big gay pizza for you and your new husband or wife.
1267 Shelby St., 363-2029, pizzakingindianapolis.com
If you need a pizza place that actually specializes in serving large crowds, you can't do any better than Roselli's, which offers banquet and catering options beyond its normal pie deliveries. They specialize in Chicago food favorites, so make sure you stop by if you're craving a big Italian Beef sandwich or a slice of deep dish, or you're looking to commemorate your Windy City-themed nuptials with some authentic Chi flavor.
4335 W 106th St. (Carmel), 228-9090, rosellisonline.com
Some Guys Pizza
We have to tip our hats to Some Guys as one of the first Indy businesses to ditch Mr. Ice, the company that has the dubious honor of employing the author of RFRA. Not only is this a place for good business, but they also make some truly inventive, delicious pizza. We have to recommend the Thai pizza in all of its peanuty goodness. These big, flavorful pies will satisfy your guests with a global palate.
6235 Allisonville Road, 257-1364, someguyspizza.com
All hail the Greeks crust! These are glorious slices of buttery, thick crust stacked high with tons of toppings (if that's your thing). If "deep dish" actually meant a good inch of fluffy, crunchy crust, I might be converted. You can even get a heart-shaped pizza during the Valentine's day season from some locations.
6336 Guilford Ave., 426-4599; 8028 S. Emerson Ave., 881-5581; 30 N. Main St. (Zionsville), 344-2999; greekspizzeria.com
Magoo's California Pizza
Holler if your toppings go all the way to the edge! These fabulous "California style" pizzas have a thick stack of toppings that go all the way out to the barely-there crust. It's not a Wolfgang Puck pie, but these Cali-styled pizzas will suit your big gay wedding just fine.
4919 W. 38th St., 293-4411, magooscaliforniapizza.com
We've told you about this place before, a now-defunct chain with several unaffiliated stores still in existence. We can't speak for all of the Pasquale's in the area, but the Batista-owned spot on Shelby is absolutely one on the list. These are standard-issue neighborhood pies (read: delicious) that use top-of-the-line ingredients. With several Batista-owned restaurants participating in Big Gay Day, it's safe to say this is another one that will be happy to provide pizzas for your gay wedding.
1135 E. Troy Ave., 787-7223
Amore Pizzeria & Ristorante
You know what they say about the moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie. And nothing says amore quite like sealing your union over a slice of cheesy, bubbly pizza. We like this cute little Zionsville shop for piling on all the cheese you could ever need. We'd highly recommend a call to this place once the open bar has been drained and you need something delicious to help cure that whole "hot mess" situation you have going on.
41 Boone Village (Zionsville), 733-1609, amorezionsville.com
It's delicious, and it's one of the best deals you can get outside of a national chain. They also serve a whole lot more than just pizza, like wings and sandwiches. This is a local chain, and it's likely there's a Piezano's pretty close to you if you're anywhere near the 465 loop. If you have guests with a variety of tastes, call this place.
5616 Georgetown Road, 299-4555; 3947 N. High School Road, 291-3446; 5389 Rockville Road, 248-3000; ilovepiezanos.com
This locally-owned chain with a handful of Indy-area franchises serves pizza as you'd expect, but we'd recommend you try one of their calzones. They're deliciously crunchy and come with a dipping sauce to make the experience that much more heavenly. If the dough-and-sauce combo isn't your thing, try a delicious plate of pasta or lasagna.
149 N. Illinois St., 634-1144; 29 E. McCarty St., No. 200, 638-0357; enzopizza.com
No offense to our closer, local folks, but it's safe to say that Mother Bear's Pizza might just be serving the greatest slice of pizza ever made. It is the crust to end all crusts, thick and fluffy and crunchy with the perfect ratio of sauce and toppings. If you happen to be getting married anywhere near Bloomington, it would be a grave error to serve anything other than this local legend.
1428 E. 3rd St. (Bloomington), 332-4495, motherbearspizza.com
Fancy pizzas for your fancy party
Let's not kid ourselves: you're about as likely to see delivery pizza at a gay wedding as you are to see a member of the Duggar family on the invite list. Still, if you insist on serving pizza at your nuptials, we'd advise you choose from the following list of fancy-schmancy pizza joints.
Wood-fired Italian, fabulous wine list, sustainable, delicious. This spot will serve you the jacket-and-tie, topped-with-a-quail-egg kind of fancy wood-fired pie that will put any small town grease disk to shame. They use seasonal ingredients for an ever-changing menu, and source locally as much as possible. If you're looking for a classy wheel of sauce and cheese for your gay wedding, look no further than these guys.
30 S. Meridian St., 635-0765; 114 E. 49th St., 925-0765; 8702 Keystone Crossing, 705-0765; cafepatachou.com
Housemade charcuterie and cured meats are the name of the game at this gourmet, wood-fired pizza place. Owned by Beard-recognized chef Neal Brown, this spot is going to bring it in the sophisticated flavors department. It's chewy and crunchy and each bite has a nice blend of toppings and toasted crust. If you're going to serve pizza at a wedding, serve it with carefully-crafted, handmade cured toppings.
608 Massachusetts Ave., 685-2550, pizzologyindy.com
This is a brand-new place that offers build-your-own pizza and craft beer. The chain serves you all kinds of fancy options for toppings like gorgonzola and pesto, and you can get every guest a custom-made pizza of their very own. If that's your wedding favor, prepare to go down in history as having the best wedding that anyone has ever attended.
8235 E. 96th St., 288-8951, projectpie.com