A potted 'Potter' 


Imagine the offspring of a horrible tryst between Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and that game where you play Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon over The Wizard of Oz, and you get some sense of what was going on Saturday night at Radio Radio when comedian Brad Neely presented his “alternate narration” to a muted DVD of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.
Brad Neely goes through his script for 'Wizard People,' his alternate reading of 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.'
If that doesn’t make any sense, I’m not surprised. Let’s just say you really had to be there. But in context, it was uproariously funny, with gut-busting laughs from beginning to end. Let’s demonstrate with a few of Neely’s choicer lines: “Harry rushes like a reversal birth into the negative plane of the brick wall! “Her voice is chilling, like a piano made of frozen Windex. “Tests are nothing compared to the shit these kids deal with in their free time. “Every battle the Earth has witnessed looks like a Three Stooges sketch compared to this match!” His delivery is somewhere between that of a romance novelist’s endlessly purple prose, combined with the Scooby-Doo narrator (“Willikers!”) and the guys from The Man Show, stirred together with a healthy batch of nerdglee. His high, often hysterical growl has a touch of Tenacious D when Jack Black is really getting worked up. The best bits come when Neely gets his timing down to the point he’s growling along in time with the characters’ mouths. It’s gonna be damned hard to look at the Harry Potter movies the same way after this — especially Alan Rickman’s now-questionable masculinity or Daniel Radcliffe’s acting ability, which Neely compares to “a velveteen Hamlet lubed with the Oil of Olivier.” When he runs out of funny crap to talk about on screen, he just launches into a Harry Potter inner monologue about such Freud-boggling concepts as slaying deer with laser beams from his eyes or climbing up a mountain made of Dumbledore to eat some Sorting Hat cake. Like I said, I guess you had to be there.


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Paul F. P. Pogue

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