It’s been a grand week for stupidity, with near-record levels of white Republicans and others stupidly complaining about stupid things. Down in Bloomington, College Republicans at IU held an “affirmative action bake sale,” one of those events designed to draw attention and anger many. The concept is that the Republicans set up a table on campus to sell specially-priced cookies and draw attention to their views on affirmative action. The prices were $1 per cookie for white males, 75 cents for females, 50 cents for American Indians and Hispanics and a quarter for African-Americans. First of all, this stunt has already been done at many other campuses around the country, making the IU Republicans look like they stole the idea from the Teen Rush Limbaugh Newsletter or Young Zealot magazine. So they looked like the idiots they are from the get-go. Secondly, they only got a small amount of media attention, which defeated their purpose to piss off blacks and encourage fellow conservatives. On the other hand, they succeeded in two of their goals. They succeeded in bringing together a group of rich young white males to have a bonding session about just how hard it is to be a rich young white male these days. The second conservative goal accomplished was that they succeeded in sending a few women back to their rightful spot in the kitchen to do some baking. In those ways, they were successful. But I think they missed out on the larger picture. First of all, there’s no affirmative action system for IU undergraduates. So what were these people protesting against? Secondly, tuition fees are the same regardless of race, making their stunt even more stupid than it already was. And they failed to include a couple of pricing schemes that would have made the cookie sale a more accurate depiction of reality. Have your father buy the cookies for you and give them to you for free, then set you up with your own cookie factory. That’s called the Bush Family Plan. Then there’s the legacy plan, where you get cookies because your dad once ate cookies from the same place. Obviously, the IU College Republicans hadn’t thought this through, or they would have realized that African-American students could have bought all the cookies for a quarter and sold them to white folk for 50 cents, doubling their investment. I wonder how many of the young Bushites have ever had to go out and work two or three jobs to pay for college. Or endure a crappy education from a substandard high school. More importantly, I’m waiting for the day when white people stop jerking each other off about how difficult white people have it. Milk the system for all it’s worth if you’re a white male. You get the best jobs, the biggest salaries, the best housing and you don’t ever have to deal with a member of a minority group if you don’t want. That’s hardly something to complain about. But there are now several generations of whites who’ve let people like Limbaugh convince them that affirmative action is out to destroy them. Of course, this is done to divert attention from the fact that conservatives have emptied the U.S. Treasury into the coffers of big business. There are, even today, townships in Marion County that are more than 95 percent white. There’s obviously been no affirmative action there, at least in terms of housing. It all comes down to race. As long as people can be forced into a black-white racial conflict, they won’t pay attention to the corrupt politics and business practices advocated by conservatives. And as long as the conservative media can keep blaming everything on Bill and Hillary, they won’t have to fix anything at all. The other big conservative crying fest of the week surrounds the depiction of Ronald and Nancy Reagan in a made-for-TV movie. After the conservatives pissed and moaned enough, CBS shifted it off to Showtime instead of airing the film. I’m a bit disturbed over the growing cult worship of Ronald Reagan. In my view, all he did was smile a lot, run up what was then the biggest budget deficit in history, hire goons like Oliver North, lie under oath about selling weapons to Iran and send the military off on half-baked missions. He was lucky he wasn’t dragged from the Oval Office in handcuffs. And now he whiles away his time talking to books and trees. Hardly the stuff of heroes. Where was the conservative outrage when John F. Kennedy’s name was being dragged through the mud? And if conservatives don’t like historically inaccurate movies, why didn’t they stop the Jessica Lynch TV film? After all, even Pvt. Lynch now says much of the propaganda campaign the government whipped up about her was untrue. Like everything else with this crew, it’s all about taking care of their own. That’s why I’ll be happy next November, when the streets of Washington will be swept clean.