Interesting article, as a father with kids on various parts of this spectrum I can see the truth in this article and I can see the arrogance in this article. Because, obviously, what HE did for HIS kids is what everybody should do for their kids. From a guy who spent hours and hours, and at least 15 years focusing on his studies to be a doctor. We all focus on something, I think its pretty arrogant to say that focusing on sports is inherently bad. Would be just as stupid as saying focusing on "being a doctor" is inherently bad because, obviously, your kid and my kid is not going to be a doctor.
I LOVE this. I have been saying this for years. I would say rather than this craziness being based in fear it's based in ego. The ego of the parents. Much like an old rich guy goes out and gets a hot young woman as a bride to be his "trophy wife" these hyper-competitive parents push their kids to exhaustion, living vicariously through their sons and daughters achievements, so that they may have their "trophy kids". It's sickening. I'm a jock and I hate it. The author is correct, these parents have some mental issues they need to work out.
There are some good points here, buried in the hyperbole& smug self satisfaction. However, as a mother of four, who's been in the trenches raising kids for FORTY years (ranging in age from 40 to 11), the certainty displayed about producing perfect adults who revere and adore their parents, placing them at the center of their lives, made me shake my head. Good luck with that. Life has a way of humbling all of us and I think the good doctor may be in for a dose of humility. We're all just making our way, doc, even those of us far inferior to you, which, by the tone of your writing, seems like most of us.
This ranks up there with one of the stupidest rants that I have ever heard. First, it teaches my children very good time management skills. both are or have balanced school work and play. Next, we spend every weekend together. They both know or knew that I am in their corner and they can depend upon their Dad when they need me. Next, they are off the couch, not playing video games and getting healthier every practice and every game that they play. Next, we are together for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on every "GAME DAY"!!!!!! You border on ignorant when you lump everyone into your extremely stupid package. I don't even have to ask what political party that you belong to, I KNOW!!!
I appreciate the honesty in this article!! Thanks for writing it!!!!!!
I personally have some great ball playing sons.
We live on a ranch in the Monterey Bay Area and they just love to play. We don't have the TV blaring, videos zooming or the snapchat-chatting. We do here "Cling"of the bat hitting the ball over the house, and the "oh shit I hit a window" every now and then. Yeah, I will encourage, applaud, educate and love my guys.
As a mom of 7, I have seen quite a few ways of doing things. I have one son (26 now) who was a great athlete in school. He learned great things, then he went to Africa to deal with children militants (Invisible Children opened his eyes to that,) now he is in Navy School to be a rescue SCAR for the Navy. Did he become a pro ball player? Nah, but that Letterman Jacket meant the world to him. I have a daughter (36 now) who played 9yrs of ball, yeah with the boys when it wasn't cool. Now she is working on being an activist attorney. No, she never became pro, although she did for a pre-season of football and hated the hits! My 11yr old and 16 yr old live for baseball and have mastered the knuckleball. We call them the knuckleball Brothers. They love it, live it and laugh with it. Will they be pros? Hmm only if that's what they really want in the end. My cousins son just got picked up for a full ride at Stanford. I am so glad she didn't give up on him.
Oh, I don't hold to the "odds are too great" theory. I have been in the music business for 30yrs and I have seen those odds busted more times to count. I also went to school with quite a few young men who went pro ball..One being Barry Bonds..who played on my little brother's little league team.
Be the best you can be, enjoy life and never kill the dreams of young minds.
Couldn't agree more ... I miss the days when your dad dropped you off at the field and said "have fun". The idea of traveling across country, playing games on Mother's Day. (Yikes) and thinking 'the game' is more important than Uncle Bob's funereal is insane! They are only 7yrs old! (Insert any age).
We need to go back to the 1970's version of kids sports.
What I miss most is the idea of kids having a pick-up game - no refs, no parents and kids make the rules and learning to negotiate on their own.
I can't thank you enough for writing this. I am a mom of two boys playing travel baseball and I can't tell you how much I hate it. I've struggled because I grew up in a family that just didn't play sports, but my husband sure did! Am I the "spoil sport" mom that really really does not want to spend 5-7 days a week on this? It really is JUST A GAME like scrabble and who wants to watch that for 20 hours a week? And I will say again what I truly believe that if sports actually taught all the values that people claim then the NBA, NFL and MLB would be full to bursting with tolerant, generous feminists. Guess what, they're not. They are full of narcissists though.
This doctor is captain obvious. Anyone with a brain could note that the odds for anyone reaching a professional level in sports is small. You have to have a doctorate to know or notice this?? I find his article degrading and insulting. So if the odds of doing something are small then why even try? This is wrong on so many level and simply bad advice. The odds were heavily stacked against our fore fathers of establishing this nation that gave him the freedom to write his misguided opinions. The odds are heavily against most kids of ever being a "doctor " like this guy so why even try right? If any kid wants to accomplish something in their life, this guy is not the one to listen to or read.
Yes, the odds are against you if you think you're gonna play pro sports. However, if we all just went by "odds," then there would be zero pro athletes- and we'd all be British. MLK would have just kept his mount shut and went on about his business, etc...
The point is, to have a dream and pursue it is what distinguishes America from every other country. However, the dream needs to be the child's. Parents must stop forcing their kids to compete. I was fortunate to play professional baseball (not the majors, but I still took home a paycheck). My parents supported me throughout my career, and helped equip me to be successful along the way. However, they would have let me walk away at any point- if I so chose.
I think the doctor is correct that the odds of playing pro sports is absurdly not in your favor. However, we must never condition our children to stop dreaming big. The moment that happens, we will be no different than any other third world country.
SO1's comments are (speaking of pensions and odds) right on the money. The only certainty we have about children's futures is that there is no certainty.
The key is for your child to love the game, regardless of what that game may be. As parents we should support that love. For each parent, that will be different.
All of my kids play soccer. One plays in college, one in high school and two in club. My role as a parent is to find the best coach for my child. That role of doing research on who is the best coach for your child is the hardest part.
The right coach will foster your child's love for the game. The wrong coach can kill your child's love of the game.
My advise to all parents of young athletes is simple. Keep your child in an environment where their love for the game can grow. If you as a parent are successul with this task, the chances of your child playing at the next level will dramatically increase.
Good luck to each and every one of you. Finding a great coach is not easy for every sport but they are out there. Seek them out and your child will ultimately benefit from your efforts.
Was your dream to be an MD? I assume that it was, I wonder how many people said that they would bet their pension that you would not make it. So now it is this clowns job to tell somoene what their kid can and can not do? Statistics say that my kid will not be a pro athlete, but I will do everything in my power to support his or her dream. I'll have my 7 year old swing his 9 iron right up his ass given the chance. You gave your opinion, I just gave you mine.
SO1. Loved your erudite response to Tyler, but the problem is that he won't be able to understand a word of it.
I did, however, also enjoy the good doctor's article, even with the extreme positions stated and the undeniable statistically inaccurate premises. He has a first hand viewpoint of those abhorrent parental behaviors and it makes him angry. I see it too, and I have to say that something is broken. Certainly, there are parents who support their children in a less than fanatical fashion, but my own observation is that there are a lot of the other kind.
Stepping back and taking a river ride once in a while doesn't seem like a bad idea, even if you do have to stand in line for an hour. 😀
Nothing like trying to kill a kid's dream. This article basically states that no kid is good enough to be pro. So tell me then Dr. what's the point of sports even existing? There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to fulfill your dream of being a professional athlete! Not everybody has to be a doctor or lawyer to be successful.
You know....there is little visiting time between ball practice and scheduled games in the little league organization. No longer does Little league end when school gets out, or begin when school starts. It has become a second lifestyle for the majority of school age kids and parents that consumes holidays and all weekends. No more visiting with grandparents for an extended stay away from home. Too risky to miss a practice or a game, not to mention the consequences dished out by the coaches. I think Dr. Profeta is dead on...
Grandma and Grandpa
I think this guy, Profeta, was bullied in school. With an attitude like his it's no wonder he never made the pros himself!
Here is an article presenting the percentages and numbers of High School and College athletes that go pro. Conclusion: have a back up plan! http://read.bi/1edwXod
I'm a mother of 3. 2 boys and a girl they are all athletic and we do the driving drop off routine but they want to do it so we support them. My daughter was in dance for 4 years they said she was gifted and we have been going at it with extra practipractice trips etc. So just this April we had a big dance trip to LA and we had a rough time so when we get back she says
she's DONE . All the time and money we've both put in and she's done. As parents her dad and I decided it's her life and if she says she's done I guess she's done. I was never trying to live through her I just loved to watch how happy she was up on the stage it literally brought tears to my eyes. Hopefully she will want to dance somewhere else again. The point is be there for your kids and make sure it's what they want not what you want. I had to take a money loss on that dance but I still let it go so get a grip people NOTHING is more important than the children .
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