Many of us tend to think of “slackers” as a modern phenomenon. Twenty-something, channel-surfing, video game-playing, under-employed versions of Sean Penn’s Spicoli or any of the characters from Kevin Smith’s movies.

This is not the case. History is full of slackers. Of course, many of the truly great slackers of the past have been forgotten. It kind of goes with the territory: When a person doesn’t accomplish much of anything, the scribes of history don’t bother recording that person’s slackery.

There are, however, a few notable slackers who will be remembered, from biblical times right on through today.

Bartholomew, Disciple of Jesus Christ

Of the 12 apostles, Bartholomew has zero sacred writing attributed to him in the Bible. Some theologians believe that he paid very little attention to the teachings of Christ, and that he mostly just enjoyed taking long walks with a bunch of other guys. His legacy? The resort island of St. Barts, and his cartoon namesake, the greatest fictional slacker of all time: Bart Simpson.

Christopher Columbus, explorer

I don’t know if Chris was more of a slacker or just a plain bumbler. If you’ll remember, when he “discovered” America, he was trying to find the “Spice Islands” or East Indies or something. He did, however, help spread new fatal diseases among a bunch of native folk, and had time left over to contract syphilis, which killed him.

William Henry Harrison, ninth U.S. president

American presidential scholar C. Dean Metcalf explains, “Harrison — Ol’ Tippecanoe they called him — was only in office for 30 days (he died). The dumbass refused to wear a hat or overcoat during his inaugural speech and then went blathering on for almost two hours in the freezing rain! The guy was a total douche bag.”

Fred Thompson, former senator, actor, presidential hopeful

Fred is pro-gun, pro-life and pro-slacking. He was the last man to enter the race for Republican presidential nominee, and his governing style has often been criticized as very hands-off and relaxed. Sixty-five-year-old Fred is no slouch when it comes to the ladies, however. Known for his many lovely ex-girlfriends, he now has a beautiful young wife and a baby that looks more like his great-grandchild.

George W. Bush, 43rd U.S. president

Many historians believe America would have been better served if George W. had followed Ol’ Tippecanoe’s example. Born into a family of wealth and privilege, George was a lousy student, an often absent National Guardsman, a coke-snorting drunk and a failure as a sports team owner and businessman. Then he went on to become the worst American president ever. Just look at George’s pre-war and post-war planning, not to mention his Hurricane Katrina response — this man is King of All Slackers!

Finally, we would be slacking way too much if we didn’t honor Kurt Vonnegut, who passed away last year. Among the many memorable remarks this prolific writer left behind was the Slackers Creed: “I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.”