He was right to skip work

Congressman Dan Burton has taken some hard knocks from the press over the years — and deservedly so. The liberal media have called him one of the dumbest members of Congress for years now, ever since his days chasing after Bill Clinton’s scandals.

Back in the 1990s, Burton shot watermelons with a pistol to “prove” Clinton attorney Vince Foster was murdered. He suggested that the first President Bush use nuclear weapons during the 1991 Iraq war.

And now, Burton is suffering the wrath of the media because he played golf at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic tournament last month instead of showing up at work, where important things such as the war, the economy and the nation’s future were being debated.

Burton’s excuse was that he’d scheduled the event months in advance, when the Republicans controlled the House, and the golf tournament was being played when Congress wasn’t normally in session.

I’ll admit it. I’ve criticized Burton many times over the past 14 years, but on this one he’s getting a bum rap by a leftist-controlled press.

The problem isn’t that Burton was wrong to skip work in order to play golf; the problem is that he came back to Washington at all.

First of all, the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic is no ordinary golf tournament. Among the celebrities besides Burton playing golf were Joe Pesci, Clint EastCwood, Jerome Bettis and Ray Romano.

If you had to make a choice between listening to Nancy Pelosi ramble on and on about the troop surge in Iraq or listening to Pesci talk about all the starlets he’s banged, which one would you choose?

If your job consisted of sitting in a stuffy hearing room listening to testimony about government waste, and you had the opportunity to hang out with Ray Romano and hear about the wacky antics on the set of Everyone Loves Raymond, you’d be playing golf, too.

And it gets better. According to the official Web site of the tournament, “Another unique feature of the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic is its Classic Girls: a trio of beauties who make pre-tournament appearances and are on hand for all the festivities of tournament week.”

Talk about another reason to ditch work. If you could hang out with Julia Carson or three suntanned models with breast implants, which would you choose, buddy? Ask Ted Kennedy and see what he’d say.

All they do is talk and talk and talk. Besides, President Bush is the Decider, so there’s really no reason for Congress to exist anyway. When you’ve got a boss who makes all the decisions, work becomes even more unnecessary.

Besides, the House really didn’t do that much during the week that Burton was playing golf. Iraq and North Korea were still going to be there when Burton got back from Palm Springs. And who cares about reducing interest rates on college loans anyway? Burton’s kids didn’t have to borrow any money to go to school.

Burton only makes $165,200 a year. He doesn’t get paid enough to put in a full week’s work. If Peyton Manning chose to skip the Super Bowl so he could judge the Miss America pageant, then I’d understand people being angry.

It’s time that the liberal media stop bashing Congressman Burton. As he told WIBC’s Greg Garrison, “You show me any person that hasn’t had a mistake or hasn’t missed work once or twice because of something where they shouldn’t have and I’ll show you a perfect person.”

Damn straight, congressman!

He should take it one step further and really stick it to the liberals by deciding to skip work for the rest of the year. There are plenty of golf tournaments that would welcome him. I bet some of them have spokesmodels, too.

It’s a win-win situation, no matter whether you’re a Republican or Democrat. Every time Burton misses a vote in Congress that means one less vote for failed Bush policies.

If Danny is playing golf, he isn’t hurting the country by proposing repressive legislation. He isn’t wasting our tax money on useless investigations if he’s playing the back nine in Augusta.

So go ahead and skip the rest of the year, congressman. You won’t be missing much, just stuff that’s hard to understand and that hardly anybody cares about anyway.

And, if we’re lucky, after the next election, you’ll have all the time in the world to play golf.