Three stars (PG)

The most important thing to know about Journey to the Center of the Earth is this: The movie is showing in 3D in some theaters and 2D in others. If you opt to see the film, see it in 3D. I cannot stress this enough. 3D = fun. 2D = bleh.

The next most important thing you need to know is that Journey to the Center of the Earth doesn’t have a brain in its 3D head. It’s a summer thrill ride, pure and simple and, hoo boy, do I mean simple. To enjoy the movie, you need to find the part of your brain that tries to make sense of what it sees and turn it off. If you find yourself thinking, “Oh come on, even a fantasy has to have a tiny bit of internal logic,” I suggest you immediately instruct your inner child to hogtie your inner adult for the duration of the screening.

Journey to the Center of the Earth is about whooshing and racing and crashing and running. In particular, it’s about having stuff thrust at your face. The 3D effects in the film are top notch. The way they are used is straight out of 3D 101. A yo-yo comes out of the screen and spins right in front of your eyes. Twice. A glowing birdie flies so close you could reach out and grab it. A big glob of tyrannosaurus rex drool smacks you in the kisser. There have been movies that used 3D with grace and subtlety. This isn’t one of them.  

So how does the story relate to the 1864 Jules Verne novel? Well, the book appears in the movie. Seems there’s a society of people that believe Verne’s books were non-fiction. Maxwell, the missing brother of professor Trevor Anderson (Brendan Fraser) and father of 13-year-old Sean (Josh Hutcherson), who is spending a few days with Uncle Trevor, was one of them.

After discovering Maxwell’s notes in a copy of the Verne classic, the fellows take off for Iceland to find out what happened to him. They hire a local woman, Hannah (Anita Briem), to guide them. Turns out that her father was also a “Vernian.” How lucky.

As for plot, that’s the end of it. They go underground. They traverse the center of the Earth. All heck breaks loose. Whee!

While the 3D is very effective, the visuals in the movie reminded me of the short films that run in motion simulator rides at amusement parks. The graphics are on the cheesy side, but you don’t mind much because your attention is primarily on the 3D. As for the casting, Hutcherson and Briem are fine, but the only name that matters here is Brendan Fraser, the go-to guy for half-baked adventure movies. Able to appear heroic while still coming off like an overgrown kid, he knows how to sell this kind of hooey.

Journey to the Center of the Earth takes too long to get rolling, but once it does, it never slows down. There’s not much else to tell you except that you shouldn’t use the 3D goggles as sunglasses. Says so right on the package.