Two men were injured last weekend in an explosion in a Quonset building located in a secluded area outside Langley, Va., sources tell NUVO. Sammy "Sooper-Snooper" Standish and Donnie "007" Defoe were injured when the Osama bin Laden hologram-generating machine they were working on overheated and exploded. Besooted and betattered, they straggled into the nearest town, where they were mistaken for African-American homeless men and attacked by a local racist vigilante group. Only cries of "We"re crackers, too!" saved them from a certain death, according to NUVO"s sources. No new videotapes of bin Laden are expected for the next few weeks.