While the majority of Hoosiers dutifully “sprang forward” — i.e., turned their clocks one hour ahead — a small group in Indiana decided they could not let go of the old time.

“We like it the way it used to be,” said Pam C., spokesperson for Hoosiers for the Old Time (HOT). “I know it’s supposed to be … 9:45 right now, but it feels like 8:45 to me.”

Members of HOT intend to remain on the old time — even at the expense of missing appointments or other opportunities.

“Daylight savings, shmavings,” Pam C. declared. “This is just all about The Man trying to tell us what to do.”

A scuffle broke out at the Final Four free concert on Monument Circle last Sunday as two unidentified teen-agers got into an argument as to just whose Coke fest it was. Indianapolis Police Department spokesperson Deck Deckard said, “One kid said, ‘Hey, it’s my Coke fest,’ and the other one said, ‘No way man, it’s my Coke fest,’ and the first retorted, ‘WAY, it’s …’ well, you get the idea. It deteriorated from there, but once security got involved the dispute was quickly resolved.”

We all know Gov. Daniels was soundly booed last week at the Conseco Fieldhouse ceremony honoring Reggie Miller’s jersey retirement. Some speculated the boos were due to the recent “Major Moves” decision, others wondered if the vocal disdain had to do with other recent legislation, but our findings reveal that the boos emanated from the fact that Daniels can’t dunk.