“G.I. George” Bush flight suit “action” figure
by Mark Andrews Aug 27, 2003

[this article is satire] From The People’s Republic of China comes this Christmas season’s greatest gag gift. Get ready to “lock and load” with the George W. Bush Navy flight suit action figure! The dolls celebrate not only the George W. Bush USS Abraham Lincoln re-election (or “first” election) photo-op, but also the heroic exploits of GWB as a Vietnam-era airman in the Texas Air National Guard. Each of the toy figures come equipped with a Jack Daniels survival flask, a “get out of jail” Monopoly card, and a front vest pocket crack pipe. An unnamed White House aid said of the dolls, “We believe that this will show, once and for all, the President’s level of military heroism. We believe also that the record speaks for itself. There was — not one — incident of Viet Cong incursion into any of the upper-class country clubs in the greater Houston area during the Vietnam war.” A spokesperson for the Chinese toy industry called the action figures, “The ideal gift for Republicans with unimpeachable tastes.” He stated further, “We are so very pleased to be able to give back to America this shining example of the world’s opinion of your Commander In Chief.”
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