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Bush event misrepresented audience
by Editors May 28, 2003
[this is satire] By now, various national media have reported upon George Bush’s visit to Indianapolis, and the extent to which his handlers manipulated the images of the crowd in attendance. The New York Times and CNN, among others, detailed White House efforts to encourage attendees of Bush’s speech to remove their ties, so that their appearance would more represent the stereotype of ordinary Hoosiers. What NUVO has recently turned up goes well beyond asking individuals to remove their ties, however. “That was the first thing,” said an Indianapolis resident who attended the speech and wishes to remain anonymous. “They told us to take off our ties. That was OK by me, mine was half-choking me anyways. I hate ties. But then, right before they started broadcasting, they stopped us again.” The anonymous source said that White House handlers approached dozens of people in the crowd, distributing white, button-down shirts. “I guess they didn’t like the fact that my shirt was made in Pakistan,” explained the source. “They wanted us to wear shirts that were made in the United States.” After the incident of the shirts, the speech and celebration continued without apparent incident. However, it was after the event that the real trouble began. Television broadcasts of the Bush speech, distributed locally as well as nationally and internationally, reveal a computer generated audience as a backdrop for the president. “That’s why I called you guys,” said the source. “When I tuned in to the TV news that night, and saw what they’d done, I just could not believe it.” The source said he spotted himself in the audience, but that the woman beside him was black, not white. “I should know,” the source quipped. “She’s my wife and last time I looked she was white.” NUVO was able to locate a smuggled amateur video of the Bush event, and by matching that document with the subsequently broadcast visuals, it’s clear that the Bush handlers manipulated the images of the audience to reflect more diversity of age and race than truly existed. In the fabricated broadcasts, blacks, Latinos and whites are evenly distributed in number, with the occasional Asian, Native American and Pacific Islander. Also evident are numerous hip-looking young people, ogling the president with absolute attentiveness. Our raw footage reveals an audience of predominantly white, middle-aged people, picking their noses, placing fingers in their ears and digging around in a circular motion, prying crusty matter out of their eyes, as well as one gentleman who was flossing his teeth with thread he plucked from his frayed sock. We would show you the stunning contrast between the two video versions, but unfortunately you are reading a newspaper, which makes moving images almost impossible to convey with any verisimilitude. “It just made me sick,” said the source, referring to whatever it was he was talking about. “You can’t believe anything these days anymore. “But,” he added, smiling, “I’ll probably go ahead and vote for Bush next time anyways. I think he’s a great leader.”
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