Baggage Claim

Lou

Work-related

Dear Lou,
I don’t have any love problems, but I do have a problem with some co-workers and if I don’t get it under control, it could start affecting my marriage. OK, well, to be honest, it kind of already has started affecting things with my husband, which is why I’m writing you.

I like most parts of my job; the money is good, the work is challenging but not too stressful, and it’s a good company. The problem is there’s a group of women in my department who drive me absolutely insane. They’re negative, gossipy, basically underhanded bitches, and they act so sweet to my face but I’ve caught them several times when it was obvious they were talking about me. I’ve heard them shred other people to pieces before so I can just imagine what they’ve said about me. I try to work hard and rise above it but I come home every day feeling so grouchy and negative.

At first I tried talking to my husband about it, to let off steam and feel better. Only I don’t feel better. I find myself complaining about the same things every day, and my husband is very patient but he’s growing annoyed with having the same discussion over and over and nothing gets better. And I’m tired of being angry all week and stressed out every Sunday about having to go back there.

Here’s the extra kick in the teeth: My cousin just interviewed for a position at this same company! She’s a smart girl and is probably going to get the job. So now I have a close relative who may be thrown into this hell as well. Should I tell her what I’m going through? And what should I do to feel better? I’m starting to think maybe I should look for greener pastures.
Been on Monster

Dear Been on Monster,

You’re already on the right track. Yes, warn your cousin that you’ve had to deal with some difficult people at work. You don’t want her coming back asking why you didn’t warn her. But don’t go on and on, just give her the basics. Should she decide to accept an offer from your company, she’ll have her own experiences there and you don’t want to completely taint her perception of the place before her first day.

Now let’s talk about your real problem. If you’ve tried everything in your power to make work tolerable and it’s failed, then by all means find another job. But while you’re putting those feelers out, make sure you’ve exhausted your resources. Don’t give up benefits, seniority, etc. unless there is no other option. Have you tried moving to a different department or, better, going for a promotion? Perhaps not working directly with (or being a superior to) the Shrew Crew would make things more pleasant. Speaking with a manager or HR guru is also an option, though that has its own perils. A bad middle manager (and most of them are) can easily throw you under a bus for coming forward, or stupidly miss the real issue and get hung up on you. Use your own judgement there. But if you’ve done all you can do, get out. Forty-plus hours a week is too much time to be spent feeling miserable. A new year is on the horizon, make it a happier one by finding an exciting new direction for your career. Good luck to you!