Can I have my job back?

[this is satire]

In a surprise and abrupt turn of events, nearly all of the departing members of the Bush Administration have changed their minds and asked to come back.

Complicating these requests is the fact that a few of the positions — for example attorney general and secretary of commerce — have already been filled. As for Tom Ridge, Tommy Thompson and other officials, they are simply anxious, as Ridge put it, “to get back in the game.”

At the time of their exit speeches, all the officials cited a desire to “spend more time with family.” Sources close to NUVO, however, have uncovered a somewhat negative reaction to these home-comings.

In quick succession, it would seem, these scions of power found that their families didn’t want them around.

One young child of an unidentified, returning department head said, “All my dad does is yell at me when he’s home. Especially if I don’t say my prayers at night. Boy does he get hot about that.”

Another child was overheard saying, “My dad is always stealing my crayons. Everything’s better when he’s at work.”

Only Colin Powell has not attempted to come back to the White House.

Bush vowed to find places in his administration for what he termed “these patriots,” he said, “even if I have to make up some department or another.”

A preliminary indication is that John Ashcroft will serve in the newly-created position of minister of modesty.