Sports & Rec

Monday, April 16, 2012

Off Base: Hall of Fame drag; off with the lingerie

Posted By on Mon, Apr 16, 2012 at 1:30 PM

5. One-man effort

Cheerleading is typically a woman's domain. And they are pretty damn great at it. But one man, Sacha Heppell, attempted to change all this by becoming the first male cheerleader in Denver Broncos' history. According to the Denver Broncos cheerleading department states anyone, female or male, can try out for the squad. Despite his best cheerful efforts, Heppell did not make the cut.

This is not Sacha Heppell, but it is a man, his dreams and a great attitude.

4. A-Rod is such a drag (queen)

Alex Rodriguez on the beach

If it's up to the producers of the upcoming indie movie about Salvador Dali, The Surrealist, MLB all-star Alex Rodriguez will be discarding his uniform in exchange for a beautiful dress. A-Rod has been approached to play a "stunning, leggy drag queen" as Dali's "factotum social secretary," Potassa.

3. Caddie pokes gator

During the RBC Heritage golf tournament last week, an alligator gave a new meaning to the phrase 'stay away from the hazard.' Just off the green on the par-5, 15th hole, Brian Gay was preparing his next shot when the gator decided to sunbathe near his ball. Gay's caddie Kip Henley poked at the gator with a sand-trap rake until it scurried off into the pond.

2. Less lingerie

Lingerie Football League

Maybe it's just a reason for me to 'research' the Lingerie Football League, but there is sad news to report. The beautiful, busty, hard-hitting athletes of the LFL will be sitting out the 2012 season to expand the sport worldwide and re-focus it as a warm-weather game. Plans are to strap on the garters once again in April 2013.

1. Miss-spelled words


John Calipari and his Kentucky Wildcats basketball team won the 2012 National Championship. The team and coach Calipari are receiving well-deserved congratulatory handshakes and accolades. Unfortunately, the kind folks of Pikeville, Ky. granted Calipari a plaque with a couple spelling errors.

Can you spot them?

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Monday, April 2, 2012

Off Base: Wife swap for tickets; father tossing

Posted By on Mon, Apr 2, 2012 at 11:45 AM

5. Bulging what?!?

Amare Stoudamire has a bulging disk in his back that will keep him off the court for the rest of the season. Easy for me to say (type). Not so easy for a few broadcasters, who proclaimed Stoudamire has a "bulging dic#."

4. Dueling dialysis

University of Kentucky and University of Louisville are vicious college basketball rivals. They don't mess around. Not even while on dialysis. One UK fan and one L'ville fan got into fisticuffs while hooked up to dialysis machines.

The teams met in the Final Four this past weekend, with UK victorious. Then for some reason the victors' fans decided to destroy stuff:

3. Man offers wife in exchange for tickets

This is his unusual post from Craigslist:

"I am a UK fan wanting to go to the Final Four in N'Oleans. I have put up my wife as collateral. She can make you speak 5 languages you never knew you could speak. I am not feeling my best so I have to use my sexy mama to get me to the game. She is completely game, is a litte (sic) picky, but if you make her howl at the moon while making her speak portugese (sic) or something I don't get out of her then by all means.....have at it and let me see my UK Wildcats!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes it is bad to do this, but it (sic) the Kentucky faithful dammit. Look out for the Bluegrass State and hook this pimp up okay?"

2. Player removes his biggest fan

Bernard Tomic is a professional tennis player. His coach - and father - was really bothering him during a recent match. The younger Tomic requested the chair umpire remove the elder Tomic from the arena.

Tomic was heard in an exchange with the chair umpire: "He's annoying - I know he's my father - but he's annoying me. I want him to leave, but how's that possible?"

The good stuff starts at 1:40.

1. Sports tomfoolery

ESPN had some fun with one of their TV stars this April Fool's Day.

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Monday, March 26, 2012

Off Base: Lingerie knockout; brave ski jump

Posted By on Mon, Mar 26, 2012 at 11:40 AM

5. Great-great paragliding grandma

Mary Allen Hardison wouldn't be out-done by her 75-year-old paragliding son. The 101-year-old courageous great-great grandmother set a Guinness World Record by becoming the oldest woman to tandem paraglide when she took flight in Salt Lake City. "Just because you are old doesn't mean you have to sit on your duff all day," Hardison told Reuters.

4. Samuel L. Jackson vs. Will Ferrell

Will Ferrell was hilarious when he tackled the PA duties at a Bulls-Hornets game. Samuel L. Jackson took on the challenge recently at the Clippers-Hornets game. Jackson isn't quite as funny as Ferrell, but he does bring out a little Jules Winnfield. And that's classic.

3. Twice as nice

Brittney Griner is a 6'8 Baylor basketball beast. Griner became the second women's college basketball player ever to dunk during the NCAA Tournament. Her first dunk shows her power, the second her pure athleticism.

This guy is Baylor's biggest fan.

2. "Bulldozed" by lingerie

Mitchell Mortaza Twitter
Lingerie Football League

Lingerie League Football Commissioner Mitchell Mortaza suffered a concussion. Mortaza's injury was the result of one skimpily-clad league hopeful knocking him on his back and slamming the back of his head on the green turf. There are worse ways.

1. "I can do this!"

10-year-old talks herself into her first ever ski jump...and it is adorable. What fear are you going to conquer today?

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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Video: Flying like a bird

Posted By on Thu, Mar 22, 2012 at 10:00 AM

We can't get enough videos of people doing ridiculous things, like trying to fly in something other than an airplane or helicopter.

This time: Is Jarno Smeets' flying machine a torture or freedom device?

Via Kat via The Hairpin via Human Birdwings

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Post-Peyton: 5 heart-breaking sports icons

Posted By on Thu, Mar 22, 2012 at 6:00 AM

In case you've been living under a rock, let us fill you in: The unthinkable happened...Peyton Manning signed with another NFL team. Our beloved QB went from the beautiful white-and-blue Colts to the unfamiliar orange-and-blue Broncos. As Indianapolis mourns, take solace in knowing he is not the only superstar to don a new uniform and break fans' hearts.

5. Michael Jordan. The greatest-ever retired, returned and unfortunately played for the Washington Wizards.

4. Joe Namath. "Broadway Joe" was king of New York City. "Joe Willie" ended his career with the Los Angeles Rams.

3. Albert Pujols: The St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series last year. Then Pujols left the Cardinals for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - and $254 million.

2. Brett Favre: Sure, he was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons. But he became an icon in Green Bay. Favre left his loyal "cheese heads" for the bright lights of New York, then for the rival Minnesota Vikings.

1. Babe Ruth: Arguably the greatest baseball player ever, "the Sultan of Swat" won four World Series Titles with the New York Yankees. But he fizzled out with the Boston Braves.

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Monday, February 27, 2012

Off Base: Rants, loose stool and makeup

Posted By on Mon, Feb 27, 2012 at 10:00 AM

5. Family tradition

Bobby Knight is an all-time-great head coach. Knight is also known for his mini rants and raves at Indiana University. Bob Knight does not disappoint in the video. Check your speaker volume before playing this classic rant:

The rage doesn't fall far from the Knight family tree. Pat Knight, son of Bobby and head basketball coach of Lamar University, carried on the family tradition by interrupting the postgame news conference with harsh criticisms and jabs. No Lamar player was safe from Pat's poisonous pokes.

4. Linspired ice cream

Jeremy Lin flavored ice cream thanks to Ben and Jerry's

Jeremy Lin has taken the sports world by storm. The New York Knicks point guard has become a national icon over the past three weeks. And now, thanks to Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, all of us can have a taste of Lin-sanity. Ben & Jerry's "Taste the Lin-Sanity" ice cream is a mix of vanilla yogurt with honey swirls and chunks of fortune cookies.

Ben and Jerry's apologized to those offended by the initial inclusion of fortune cookies and replaced them with waffle cone pieces.

3. Loose stool

Announcers James Bates and Steve Wolf were high with excitement for the Xavier-Dayton tip-off, but it didn't take long for Bates to come crashing down:

2. Courtside collision

Unlike James Bates, the chair was not the problem for ESPN announcer Jimmy Dykes. Sitting courtside as a play-by-play announcer seems awesome, with its great vantage point for watching great athletes. But what's not so great is when those athletes can't slow their hustle. And Alabama freshman guard Levi Randolph could not slow his hustle:

1. Real men wear makeup

A Lakers radio play-by-play guy was caught with his hand in the foundation jar. John Ireland is seen applying layer after layer of makeup to his rosie cheeks before realizing he was in the background of a live shot. The look on his freshly powdered face when he realizes he's on camera is priceless; Jay Leno adds some commentary in this video:

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Friday, February 10, 2012

8 videos of animals on the playing field

Posted By on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 10:30 AM

Animals can be cute, lively - and elusive. When a soft, furry animal wanders into the world of human sports, all we can say is "Awww!" while secretly hoping they avoid all tackle attempts. Timesuck presents eight of our favorite videos of lost, confused and/or fun-loving critters:

8. This bomb-sniffing dog in Bogota, Colombia has more fun as the crowd cheers him on. The players may've taken notes on his evasive maneuvers but have to settle with having less-maneuverable bipedal frames:

7. Why dream of driving a Lambo when your own body can outmaneuver one?

6. The announcers in this video enjoy offering color commentary while a rabbit zooms around the baseball field:

5. When you're this tall, swatting bats is probably like swatting flies. (Also: Does this qualify as animal cruelty?)

4. "We have liftoff!"

3. Our hearts go out to this poor bird - and our thanks go out to the tennis player for his respectful reaction after the accident:

2. We couldn't leave out the wildest animal of all: Man. Dude's lucky he didn't get tazed - or worse, impaled by that fence!

1. Finally, we couldn't leave out our feline friends:

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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Fascination with flight soars to new levels

Posted By on Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 3:30 PM

As the Super Bowl zipline in downtown Indy has shown locally, some people can't get enough of unnaturally soaring through the air.

But the following videos show the human obsession with flight taken to interesting new - ahem - heights.

In a ridiculous campaign for the movie Chronicle, marketing agency thinkmodo flew several humanoid remote-control vehicles over New York City. Whatever the movie's about (presumably, flying humanoid vehicles), we hope its special effects are more special than these:

Then we have Julien Roberge, who's trying to bring the sport of "wall trampoline" to the X Games. We have to admit that we've seen more ridiculous ways to push one's body to the limits before.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Off Base: Nuns offer big package

Posted By on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 at 9:45 AM


5. Nuns offer big package

Two Super Bowl tickets, two Pacers tickets, food, a cozy bed and a ride to the big game: This all could have been yours thanks to Our Lady of Grace Monastery in Beech Grove, Ind. The super prize pack, donated by local businessman Frank Mascari, was up for auction with bidding starting at $2,000; Andrew K. Canada won it with a winning bid of $8,012.33. Proceeds went to the Benedict Inn, a facility for spiritual retreats.

Cash Money Logo

4. 5 million-dollar bird

Brian "Birdman" Williams, co-founder of Cash Money Records, put $5 million on the New England Patriots to win Super Bowl XLVI. At last year's Super Bowl, Birdman placed a $1 million wager on the Packers to win it all. The rich get richer.

3. Goalie stuffs White House

It's standard for league champions to visit The White House and schmooze with the president. Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas put on his verbal pads and deflected his chances for a visit. "I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People," said Thomas in a post on his Facebook. (Read more from Thomas.)

2. No butterfingers here

The Australian Open tennis tournament is full of fast-acting athletes... including the ball boys.

1. I got five on it

The Super Bowl allows viewers the chance to bet big bucks on the color of Gatorade dumped on the winning head coach. Here are some other unique prop bets available for Super Bowl Sunday, my predictions included. Leave yours in the comments!

How long will it take Kelly Clarkson to sing the National Anthem?
Over/Under: 1 minute 34 Seconds (I'll take the over.)

Will Kelly Clarkson's bare belly be showing when she sings the National Anthem?
Yes (only): 3/1 (No. At least I hope not.)

What color will Madonna's hair be when she begins the Super Bowl Halftime Show?
Blonde: -400
Other color: +250 (I'll take straight-out-of-the-bottle platinum blonde.)

Will Madonna be wearing fishnet stockings at any point during the Super Bowl Halftime Show?
Yes: -110
No: -110 (Absolutely, and I'm not happy about it.)

How many times will Peyton Manning be shown on TV during the game?
Over/Under: 3 ½
(Over. They'll show him at least a dozen times.)

How many times will Gisele Bundchen be shown on TV during the game?
Over: 1/2 (-150)
Under: 1/2 (+110)(However many, it won't be enough.)

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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Off Base: This week's offbeat sports stories

Posted By on Tue, Jan 17, 2012 at 2:30 PM

NUVO's new series Off Base is Justin Cross's take on some of the more interesting happenings in the sports world.

Nick Symmonds' Twitter tattoo

5. Your name here

Olympic 800-meter runner Nick Symmonds sold his body for money. Well, part of it, at least. For $11,100, the highest bidder on eBay won the right to have their Twitter account temporarily tattooed on Symmonds' left shoulder during the 2012 Olympics in London.

4. Make up your mind, Dwight

Soon-to-be free agent Dwight Howard doesn't seem to like playing in Orlando. After naming the few teams he'd like to play for (Lakers, Mavericks or Nets), he decided he'd love the chance to play for the ugly stepchild of Los Angeles sports, The Clippers. What a difference Chris Paul makes.

3. Granny time

87-year-old Pat Hanzlick is the newly crowned queen of her fantasy football league. The competitive granny's next challenge? March Madness.

2. Heavenly match

Denver Bronco quarterback Tim Tebow and former Christian-pop star Katy Perry are not dating... yet. Perry's mother, Mary, is trying to set her daughter up with the beloved QB. As a devout Christian, Mom believes he's the perfect guy.

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1. The Greatest

This isn't a silly sports story, but it can't be overlooked: Muhammad Ali turned 70 Tuesday. Battling Parkinson's, "The Greatest" hasn't given up the fight.

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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Twitter thy Tebow

Posted By on Wed, Jan 11, 2012 at 9:50 AM

Twitter's Tebow tweet
  • Twitter's Tebow tweet

Tim Tebow's first NFL playoff victory set a new Twitter record. After an overtime touchdown pass, his loyal fans and celebs alike took to social media. After setting a new sports-related tweet per second record, Twitter, naturally, tweeted out the new record of 9,420.

Tebow-related tweets beat out the likes of the Royal Wedding (3,966 tweets/second), Osama Bin Laden's death (5,106 tweets/second) and Steve Jobs' death (6,049 tweets/second). The all-time tweets/second record is a popular Anime movie, Castle in the Sky in Japan which prompted 25,088 tweets/second in December.

If the tweets aren't satisfying enough for you, this Tumblr account has some impressive "Tebowing" images for your viewing pleasure.

Lady "Tebowing" next to a horse
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Thursday, January 5, 2012

High school basketball video stirs controversy

Posted By on Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 3:27 PM

Here’s what I love about the internet. You can say something is “viral” and so everyone will spread it around, thus self-fulfilling your prophecy! Here’s a case in point; this video. The person who made it shot a high school basketball game, and maintains that a series of flagrant fouls were ignored by referees, thus putting players on the opposition squad in physical danger.

See for yourself.

I’m guessing these kids came away with a few bruises, for sure, especially at the hands of number 34, but are they ALL flagrant fouls? I count two... maybe three of the six.

What’s persuasive about this argument is when the action is slowed to Hard Copy-style slow motion. This begs the question, however, doesn’t everything look creepy and malfeasant when in slow motion?

I …. thhiiiiinnnkkk… ssssssssooooooooo….

I notice in this video that the opposing team, so, ahem, brutally fouled, never stand up for each other. Each player, ahem, brutalized by a foul, just simply shakes it off, alone, like a tumbleweed in the desert. No teammate confronts the fouler, no solidarity is displayed.

Just my take on it.

I headlined this Timesuck with the phrase "stirs controversy." Is there a controversy? I have no idea, except now there probably is, because the headline says so!

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