Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Meet a video-game character against killing

Posted By on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 at 2:30 PM

The real-life, broomstick-wielding, battling monks we posted about last month could learn a thing or two from Felix the Peaceful Monk.

The vast majority of video games, from Super Mario Bros. to Grand Theft Auto, celebrate your vanquishing of creatures and your fellow human being. But not The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim character Felix, who prefers peace over annihilation.

Check out the video, narrated by Felix's creator, Daniel Mullins: "I have not killed a single thing... My favorite weapon is the Steel Mace of Fear... This bad boy makes them run... It does a little bit of damage, but it does not kill them, because my character is against that. Killing is wrong."

A tip of the hat to NUVO News Editor Rebecca Townsend for letting us know about Felix.

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Off Base: Nuns offer big package

Posted By on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 at 9:45 AM


5. Nuns offer big package

Two Super Bowl tickets, two Pacers tickets, food, a cozy bed and a ride to the big game: This all could have been yours thanks to Our Lady of Grace Monastery in Beech Grove, Ind. The super prize pack, donated by local businessman Frank Mascari, was up for auction with bidding starting at $2,000; Andrew K. Canada won it with a winning bid of $8,012.33. Proceeds went to the Benedict Inn, a facility for spiritual retreats.

Cash Money Logo

4. 5 million-dollar bird

Brian "Birdman" Williams, co-founder of Cash Money Records, put $5 million on the New England Patriots to win Super Bowl XLVI. At last year's Super Bowl, Birdman placed a $1 million wager on the Packers to win it all. The rich get richer.

3. Goalie stuffs White House

It's standard for league champions to visit The White House and schmooze with the president. Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas put on his verbal pads and deflected his chances for a visit. "I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People," said Thomas in a post on his Facebook. (Read more from Thomas.)

2. No butterfingers here

The Australian Open tennis tournament is full of fast-acting athletes... including the ball boys.

1. I got five on it

The Super Bowl allows viewers the chance to bet big bucks on the color of Gatorade dumped on the winning head coach. Here are some other unique prop bets available for Super Bowl Sunday, my predictions included. Leave yours in the comments!

How long will it take Kelly Clarkson to sing the National Anthem?
Over/Under: 1 minute 34 Seconds (I'll take the over.)

Will Kelly Clarkson's bare belly be showing when she sings the National Anthem?
Yes (only): 3/1 (No. At least I hope not.)

What color will Madonna's hair be when she begins the Super Bowl Halftime Show?
Blonde: -400
Other color: +250 (I'll take straight-out-of-the-bottle platinum blonde.)

Will Madonna be wearing fishnet stockings at any point during the Super Bowl Halftime Show?
Yes: -110
No: -110 (Absolutely, and I'm not happy about it.)

How many times will Peyton Manning be shown on TV during the game?
Over/Under: 3 ½
(Over. They'll show him at least a dozen times.)

How many times will Gisele Bundchen be shown on TV during the game?
Over: 1/2 (-150)
Under: 1/2 (+110)(However many, it won't be enough.)

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Saturday, January 28, 2012

Red-hot romance at White Castle

Posted By on Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 10:45 AM

Tired of eating fast food on the couch with your significant other on Valentine's Day? This year, go out while still forgoing expensive wine lists and heavy silverware (what's that third fork used for, anyway?) in lieu of the some-may-say sexy aroma of greasy, steam-grilled burgers: White Castle restaurants are now accepting reservations for Valentine's Day. So if you really want to show your sweetie how much you care, do so by sharing a large soda and a slew of sliders. And since it's a special occasion, go ahead and splurge with some fried onion rings and a milkshake. You can burn it all off later, if you know what we mean.

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Local actor wants Super Bowl votes

Posted By on Thu, Jan 26, 2012 at 7:30 AM

In December, we wrote about local filmmakers and actors producing Doritos commercials in the hopes of having their commercial televised during the Super Bowl and winning some spectacular prizes.

Now, six weeks later, many roads are closed in Indy, hotel rooms are reserved and the buzz surrounding the city is palpable - it's nearly kick-off time. Some say the best parts of the Big Game are the commercials, usually produced to make us laugh (and always, of course, to make us buy).

David Leo Schultz, a Warren Central High School and Anderson University graduate, is part of the team that created "Bird of Prey," one of the top five finalists in the Doritos Crash The Super Bowl contest.

If the funny, "fowl" commercial gets the most votes by Jan. 29th, it will be shown Super Bowl Sunday. Get your orange-dusted fingers out of the Doritos bag and vote if you want to help a local hopeful.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Video: Boots. Cats. Boots. Cats.

Posted By on Wed, Jan 25, 2012 at 12:18 PM

Timesuck has shown an affinity for electronic music. And cats. After watching the "Boots and Cats" video, we now have an affinity for cats and electronic music together - along with the surprisingly fitting addition of boots and bees.

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A local's guide to the Super Bowl

Posted By on Wed, Jan 25, 2012 at 9:00 AM

This is it. The New England Patriots and New York Giants are heading to Indy to play in the Super Bowl. Millions of dollars have been spent and thousands of hours of preparation by civic leaders have all led up to this.

The reward for Indianapolis, besides the media attention and money spent with downtown merchants, is to disrupt the lives and annoy the living hell out of anyone who lives or works anywhere near Lucas Oil Stadium.

Please understand that all of next week I must leave for work at least an hour early and arrive home at least an hour late. The bus system may be free, but it is trashed with detours.

I'm in no good spirits about this occupation of our city by rich people.

Allow me to vent:

First of all, dismiss the idea that "the eyes of the world are on Indianapolis." Nothing could be further from the truth. No country plays NFL-style football except the United States and nobody but Americans care about the Super Bowl. To the rest of the world, "football" is what we call "soccer" and our "football" is an incomprehensible and violent sport designed to sell beer on TV.

The rest of the planet could care less about football and the Super Bowl. To them, it's just one of those bizarre American weaknesses that defies common sense, like Newt Gingrich or Snooki.

Now that we've established nobody outside our borders cares about the game, we can get a better understanding of it. Barring a Janet Jackson-style nipple slip on TV, the rest of the world will barely notice the game even occurred.

Since we're free from the burden of global ambassadorship, the people of Indianapolis are free to greet the inevitable scorn of our East Cost brethren with a little good-natured fun.

We'll never get into P. Diddy's party or hang out with Charlie Sheen or even get to apply makeup to John Madden. That means inventing our own games to amuse us.

Number one, always give visitors the wrong directions.

The city got off to a good start when they added confusing new street signs downtown, turning Meridian Street to Bills Street and Ohio Street to Jets Avenue, guaranteeing wrong turns by anyone dependent on GPS.

They even had a sign on Meridian Street with arrows to landmarks pointing in the wrong direction. One would have to cross the complete surface of the earth to have found the Canal Walk by walking east on Ohio Street from Meridian. Alas, the signs were corrected.

Since Indianapolis streets are confusing even when there are not 100,000 strangers walking around, there's no shame in directing visitors in the wrong direction. Make them angry enough and the Super Bowl will never come back here, which is what we want.

Secondly, play into every stereotype Easterners might have about us. Go out and buy some novelty teeth that make you look like you stepped out of Deliverance. Instead of a belt, wear a rope tied around your waist. If you come in contact with a visitor, be sure to use the worst grammar possible and speak as if your education didn't extend beyond the second grade.

Ask them where they're from. Then, no matter what they say, respond with "Where's that?" When they try to explain where New York is on the map, look confused. If they elaborate even more, ask them if New York is near London or if tigers roam the streets. "Do you guys have hamburgers there?" is an appropriate response regardless of location.

Make up stories about unsolved murders and incidents of violent crime. Discuss ancient Indian curses against tourists. Whatever it takes.

It's bad enough that the state and city increased my taxes to build that ugly new football stadium; now they're asking us to be ambassadors of goodwill to Patriots fans, for God's sake! I won't be able to get to work on time or go anywhere downtown for weeks, but I should extend a hand of legendary Hoosier hospitality?

Sure, the NFL has dropped a few selective dollars into the community, and restaurants and hotels downtown will benefit from the Super Bowl, but I won't. The event is a convention for rich people and the media, not us. We are specifically excluded from joining in on the fun.

There's nothing we can do to stop the Super Bowl from invading our town but we are under no obligation to facilitate the disruption and near-closure of our city. The best we can do is to ensure it doesn't happen again and we can live our lives in peace.

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Monday, January 23, 2012

'Star Wars' remade with fans' 15-second clips

Posted By on Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Last week we posted a video of dogs barking the Star Wars "Imperial March." In new Star Wars saga-related developments, the crowdsourced Star Wars Uncut movie debuted this weekend on YouTube.

The video recreates the entire Star Wars: A New Hope film with 15-second fan clips. As you can imagine, the quality of the clips varies widely, from crude animation to several scenes of multiple people in tiny bathrooms to Chewbacca as a sock puppet.

And though we sometimes are paid to bring you stuff to waste your time on, we weren't paid to sit through the two-hour-plus movie. So leave a comment below to let us know the times of your favorite parts of the flick.

Stream the film below, but hurry: Lucasfilm's probably sending a notice of copyright infringement to the film's creators as this post is being typed.

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Off Base: This week's offbeat sports stories

Posted By on Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 12:00 PM

NUVO's new series Off Base is Justin Cross's take on some of the more interesting happenings in the sports world.

5. Phony Fausto

Roberto Hernendez Heredia, aka Fausto Carmona
  • Roberto Hernendez Heredia, aka Fausto Carmona

Dominican-born baseball players have been known to fabricate their age to make them younger than they are. Cleveland Indians pitcher Fausto Carmona not only fibbed on his age - he's 31, not 28 - he also is being accused of using a false identity. Carmona, whose birth name is Roberto Hernandez Heredia, was arrested after leaving the U.S. Consulate in the Dominican Republic on Thursday.

4. Rob, no

Actor Rob Lowe had very big news to share with everyone via Twitter. Future Hall of Fame Quarterback Peyton Manning is retiring. Except, he isn't.

3. Crackin' rackets

Tennis players are full of emotions. John McEnroe, anyone? At the 2012 Australian Open, Cypriot star Marcos Baghdatis continued a smashing tradition.

2. Cougar chaos

Popular choices for high school team nicknames include the Eagles, Bulldogs, Chargers and Cougars. But only one of these is slang for "eager" middle-aged women, and it's causing issues at a Utah high school. Board members declined calling their team the Cougars because they deemed the nickname offensive to women.

1. RIP Joe

I'd be amiss to not mention the passing of former Penn State Head Coach Joe Paterno. Dead at the age of 85, Paterno battled lung cancer and a broken pelvis that kept him hospitalized for much of the past two months. During his 46-year coaching tenure, "Joe Pa" totalled 409 wins, the most in collegiate Division-1 history. He will be missed by many.

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Video: Tour a tiny, tiny house for sale

Posted By on Thu, Jan 19, 2012 at 3:45 PM

If you've thought about downsizing your home to save money, reduce your carbon footprint or just live more simply, maybe this home's for you.

Jay Shafer, founder and designer at Tumbleweed Tiny House Company, takes us on a video tour of his 120 square-foot home for sale.

Shafer aims to pare his homes down to bare necessities, like "the world's smallest bathtub/shower/sink," to make them efficient and affordable: good things for families like the one interviewed who recently lost their home and want a smaller home the next time around.

Lest you think you couldn't live in a small space: Shafer lived in a house of less than 100 square feet for 12 years, until he got married, had a baby and upsized to a relatively ginormous 500 square-foot abode.

Check out the "house porn" (Shafer's words, not mine) below:

With the significant issue of homelessness in Indianapolis, I can't help but wonder whether tiny houses like this could be used to provide privacy and shelter for people in need.

Would you consider living in a tiny house?

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Video: Dogs bark Star Wars "Imperial March"

Posted By on Thu, Jan 19, 2012 at 12:00 PM

Sure, the magic of editing made this Volkswagen Super Bowl teaser commercial possible, but we're willing to suspend disbelief for a minute to pretend that a chorus of dogs singing barking the Star Wars "Imperial March" would be possible in real life.

Do you think Yoda cat will make an appearance on Super Bowl Sunday?

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