Thursday, September 1, 2016

Savage Love: Coming out and dressing up

Wear whatever you'd like, but don't force children to be like you

Posted By on Thu, Sep 1, 2016 at 10:29 AM

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Dan, 

I’m a 26-year-old gay male, and I like to explore my feminine side by wearing female clothes. I have a boyfriend who likes to do the same thing, but he doesn’t have the courage to tell his parents that he’s gay and explores his feminine side by wearing female clothes. I want to adopt early school-age boys and teach them that they can explore their feminine side by wearing female clothes.

My question has two parts. First, in regard to my boyfriend, how can I encourage him to tell his parents he’s gay and wants to explore his feminine side by wearing female clothes?

Second, in regard to adopting early school-age boys, how do I teach an early school-age boy that it’s okay for them to explore their feminine side by wearing female clothes and also teach them that they don’t have to be gay at the same time?

Dressing A Future Together


Wear whatever you like, DAFT, but please don’t adopt any children — boys or otherwise, early school-age or newborn, not now, probably not ever. Because a father who pushes his son into a dress is just as abusive and unfit as one who forbids his son to wear a dress. You two don’t need kids, DAFT, you need a therapist who can help your boyfriend with his issues (the closet, not wearing female clothes) and help you with yours (your extremely odd and potentially damaging ideas about parenting, not wearing female clothes).

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Dan Savage

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In addition to being a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist and author of books, Savage can also lay claim to being the only person at his home paper to have actually converted his sexuality into a profession. He has a boyfriend and a child. He is also wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice and cheats at racketball... more

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