Monday, August 22, 2016

Savage Love: What's on your phone?

Not-your-regular-Dan-Savage weighs in.

Posted By on Mon, Aug 22, 2016 at 2:17 PM

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I’m on vacation for three weeks — but you won’t be reading old columns in my absence, and you won’t be reading columns by anyone who isn’t Dan Savage. You’ll be reading new columns, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me.

Our second guest Dan Savage is 32 years old, single, and living in London. Dan Savage got his professional start working in promotions at the legendary London nightclub G-A-Y. He’s now 10 years into a career in theater arts marketing and currently works for some of the West End’s biggest hit musicals. Dan has never written a sex-advice column before, but he occasionally gets angry tweets that were meant for me.A quick word about qualifications: Advice is defined as “an opinion about what could or should be done.” We’re all entitled to our opinions—but only Dan Savage, theatrical marketing exec, is entitled to share his opinions in my column this week.

Take it away, Dan!

I am 39 years old and my husband is 51; we have been together nine years and married four. This morning, he was jacking off on my arse during foreplay and watching porn on his phone, which is not unusual. The problem is when I looked to see what he was watching (we often watch porn together), he got a little mad.

I let it go, but when he got in the shower, I looked at his phone and saw that he was watching gay porn. MEN. I don’t think I have a problem with that, but it kind of threw me. Should I be worried that he is secretly on the down low? Or does he just like to look at gay porn occasionally? When I’m giving him a blowjob, he also enjoys me licking his arse. I don’t know how to confront him with what I have seen on his phone?

Perspiring Over Relationship Now

People look at all sorts of things online and are turned on by others. Man-on-man porn clearly does it for your man, or maybe this was the first time that he’d looked. Either way, the fact that he was doing this secretly while humped over your naked body and jacking off onto your arse is wrong. And he knows that: He hid the phone!
Rather than confronting him and creating a massive issue, why not suggest that you watch gay porn together. See what happens? If he is hiding the fact he’s gay or bi, I’d be surprised that he’d blatantly flaunt it like this… perhaps he wanted you to catch him? He wants you to know what else he’s into but doesn’t know how to tell you?

Although it’s rarely spoken about, a lot of straight men like the odd finger or tongue in the bum. It’s not a sign of homosexuality! Maybe this could be taken further? You could go all out and strap one on and dominate him like a bitch!

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Dan Savage

Dan Savage

In addition to being a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist and author of books, Savage can also lay claim to being the only person at his home paper to have actually converted his sexuality into a profession. He has a boyfriend and a child. He is also wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice and cheats at racketball... more

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