Friday, August 5, 2016

Savage Love: When talking dirty goes too far

Posted By on Fri, Aug 5, 2016 at 9:00 AM

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I have two questions.

(1) I saw a sex worker for a legit sensual massage that turned into fooling around. Once that happened, he mentioned “making” straight guys have sex with him, wanting to give massages to teenagers, and he talked dirty about younger boys. I know this could all be provocative fantasy talk, but I had a weird feeling about him before meeting.

Who would I even disclose this to if that were the right thing to do, and how would I do so while protecting his (should be legal) right to trade ass for cash? 

(2) Furthermore, I’m a thirsty genderqueer girl plotting her escape from a suburban town. I’m not going to be here long enough to look for an LTR. How can I satisfy my lust safely? It seems like every time I hook up with someone, they disclose intense drug use or other risky behavior after the fact.

Fantasizing Lecherously About Good Sex

(1) There’s no licensing board for sex workers—there’s no accrediting organization, no sex-work equivalent of the legal profession’s bar association (and most sex workers would oppose the establishment of one)—so there’s nowhere you can go to report this guy. If he confessed to an actual crime, FLAGS, you could go to the police, and they might even do something about it. But the police are unlikely to get involved if he was just fantasizing; it’s not against the law to engage in dirty talk, even extremely fucked up/ickily transgressive/NOT OKAY dirty talk.

(2) Masturbation is the safest way to satisfy your lust until you get your ass out of that druggy suburb full of risky-sex junkies and to the big city, where we urbanites drink only hot tea, snort only in derision, and use only condoms religiously.

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with MTV’s Ira Madison III about sex and race:
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Dan Savage

Dan Savage

In addition to being a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist and author of books, Savage can also lay claim to being the only person at his home paper to have actually converted his sexuality into a profession. He has a boyfriend and a child. He is also wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice and cheats at racketball... more

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