Thursday, June 16, 2016

Savage Love: Man of confusion

Bi- or a-?

Posted By on Thu, Jun 16, 2016 at 2:38 PM

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I’m an incredibly confused man in my early 20s. I’m attracted to men and women. I could see spending my life with either. But I think sexual activity with either sex would be confusing and strange. In sex ed, I always thought the whole idea of sexual intercourse was strange. I don’t think I’m asexual, but I’m not sure if I am bisexual. I am more attracted to vibrant personalities. I don’t think that I am just straight or just gay, because I have equal feelings for both sexes. Does this mean I could find equal companionship with both? Should I wait until I find the right person and decide from there?

Confused About Sexuality, Help

According to the Tumblr Blog Decoder Ring that came in my last box of Kellogg’s Feelios, CASH, you’re bi-classic (attracted to men and women), bi-romantic (could be with a man or a woman), a sort of demisexual/sapiosexual hybrid (demis are attracted to people they’ve bonded with emotionally, sapios are attracted to people who are intelligent, and vibrancy may fall at some point between the two), and maybe falling somewhere on the asexuality spectrum. The best way to discover who/what works for you is to get out there. If you find yourself feeling confused, just remind yourself that confusion — like so much else — is a spectrum. And wherever you fall on it, CASH, know you’ve got plenty of company.
@fakedansavage on Twitter

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About The Author

Dan Savage

Dan Savage

In addition to being a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist and author of books, Savage can also lay claim to being the only person at his home paper to have actually converted his sexuality into a profession. He has a boyfriend and a child. He is also wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice and cheats at racketball... more

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