Thursday, May 19, 2016

Savage Love: Please stop talking

"My dad is the king of the overshare."

Posted By on Thu, May 19, 2016 at 10:13 AM

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I didn’t talk to my nearly-70-year-old dad for most of my 20s. Now that I’m back trying to maintain relationships with my parents, I am struggling. My dad is the king of the overshare. He makes creepy comments about women who are about 30 to 40 years younger than him — including women who were kids when he met them but are now grown-ups. Not something I want to hear. I don’t think he is abusing anyone, just being creepy, but I desperately want him to stop with the inappropriate comments. He makes about one creepy comment per phone conversation. If he were a person at work, I would be able to stand up for myself and say, “That is not appropriate.” But when he says creepy stuff, Dan, I’m a deer in the headlights. I go silent, it’s awkward, and I keep hoping he’ll understand how weird he’s being. I would say something, but bringing up things that anger me causes him to act overly sorry, and that routine is annoying too. I asked my mom (they divorced a long time ago), and she had no suggestions. She was just like, yeah, he’s like that. Any suggestions on what to say?

Seeking Help Regarding Unpleasant Guy

“Dad! It creeps me out when you make comments about women you wanna fuck. I realize you’re a sexual person, and I honor that, and blah de blah blah blah. But these are thoughts you share with friends, Dad, not with your adult children. There’s no need to go into your oh-so-sorry routine, Dad, we just need to change the subject.”

Jillian Keenan, author of Sex with Shakespeare, on the Savage Lovecast:
@fakedansavage on Twitter

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Dan Savage

Dan Savage

In addition to being a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist and author of books, Savage can also lay claim to being the only person at his home paper to have actually converted his sexuality into a profession. He has a boyfriend and a child. He is also wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice and cheats at racketball... more

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