Friday, January 15, 2016

Savage Love: Straight troubles

Posted By on Fri, Jan 15, 2016 at 1:27 PM


I am an Italian bisexual 25-year-old guy. I’m in love with a great guy, but he lives far away, and we see each other only one time per month and sometimes less. A few weeks ago, I had sex with a female university colleague. It wasn’t anything special: She was somewhat drunk and hurt me with her teeth during petting, so I didn’t have a good erection and I didn’t come. But I liked having sex with a woman. I want to do it again, but I love my boyfriend and I don’t want to hurt him. Am I destined to be unfaithful?

More Or Less

Italians pet with their teeth? Good to know. Also good to know: yourself. Now, I would never suggest that bi guys can’t honor monogamous commitments—even though I routinely say just that about straight guys, gay guys, straight women, and lesbians—but it would be foolish for you to make a monogamous commitment. Not because you’re “destined to be unfaithful,” MOL, but because you’ve already been unfaithful.

Here’s what you know about yourself: You’re bisexual, you want to have sex with women and men, and you don’t want to cheat. Which means you’ll have to either renegotiate the terms of the relationship you’re in now—get your boyfriend’s okay to have sex with a woman once in a while—or end the relationship and find a boyfriend (or girlfriend) who will give you their okay.

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(NOTE: This nugget of advice appeared in the Jan. 13, 2016 issue of NUVO.)

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Dan Savage

Dan Savage

In addition to being a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist and author of books, Savage can also lay claim to being the only person at his home paper to have actually converted his sexuality into a profession. He has a boyfriend and a child. He is also wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice and cheats at racketball... more

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