Wednesday, September 30, 2015

How Bernie can trump Trump

Posted By on Wed, Sep 30, 2015 at 10:30 AM

click to enlarge Dan Wakefield
  • Dan Wakefield

Whether the establishment politicians of both parties as well as the established political pundits of press and media have accepted it or not, Trump has changed the rules of the game – the Presidential Game. You can no longer win by simply mouthing policy platitudes and boring us all to death with "debates" that are simply broken records of warmed-over slogans strung together with harrumphs and hurrahs. Sorry, folks – this time, you are going to have to entertain us!

We have been bored too long. The very names Clinton and Bush, Hillary and Jeb, bring yawns at best, winces more likely. The Republican bosses hate it, but Trump is the man of their people — maybe of disaffected Democrats as well — and if the boss-men of the GOP allow voters to go to the polls in the primaries, they have their candidate.

Pity the poor Democrats! The only candidate to raise a pulse in their early posturing for position is Bernie Sanders, who gets some attention by pointing out the Elephant in the room — I don't mean the Republican mascot, but the glaringly obvious inequality of income that is growing every day, giving the top one-tenth of one percent of the people more money than the entire lower ninety percent. As Sanders tells it on his website, "America has more wealth and income equality than any major developed country on the earth. . ."

Sanders has gained his greatest support from young people — not just because he supports tuition-free four year colleges, but according to Congressional Quarterly he not only speaks about independence and being bipartisan (they All do), his record shows he has "bridged Washington's toxic divide and is the longest serving independent member of Congress in American History." A Pew Research poll reported that 51% of Millennials identify as Independent.

But Sanders has almost no support among African-Americans and Hispanics. Here is my solution, not only for getting support from those segments of voters but also to entertain all of us (now a requirement) and maybe even get elected!

Select Charles Barkley as vice president! The African-American former NBA star and ESPN commentator would help Bernie create a "Dream Team" for politics as well as he did for basketball. He said in the past he wanted to be governor of Alabama; now is his time to Think Bigger. As a Veep candidate, the first thing Barkley will point out is that Donald Trump is "Turrible!" He has the wit and savvy to go one-on-one with Trump in any debate, topping him for entertainment and never being at a loss for words. (Bernie himself doesn't have a chance to trump Trump in a game of one-on–one; Barkley could dunk on him.)

Next, announce key members of your cabinet. Trump has started picking his own, beginning by recycling Condaleeza Rice as his secretary of state, which will help Trump get us into even more wars in the Middle East than Bush, her old boss, and maybe find other places around the globe we haven't even thought about invading yet!

Counter this by selecting Eva Longoria for that position. The former star hottie of "Desperate Housewives," and divorced wife of French-born San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker, was the first woman to top the list of Maxim's Hottest Female Stars for two years in a row. You may know all that, but you probably don't know Longoria was a co-chair of Obama's last presidential campaign, and recently attended a meeting with Barack as part of his post-presidential brain trust. Having a brain puts her way ahead as a Democratic answer to Sarah Palin.

Longoria has not just been batting her eyelashes in recent years; she founded "Eva's Heroes," a charity for disabled children, was executive producer of a documentary on immigrant farm children [The Harvest], is national spokesperson for PADRES Contra El Cancer and was named Philanthropist of the Year by The Hollywood Reporter in 2009 for "her commitment to Latino causes and giving back to the community." On top of all that, she wrote a cookbook (Eva's Kitchen: Cooking With Love for Family and Friends). You think she can't negotiate with world leaders? She will put Putin on his knees.

But you can't just regard Hispanics as a one-size-fits-all constituency. Longoria is of Mexican descent, so it's crucial to include a member of the most vociferous and fiery of all nationality voting blocs, the Cubans! Marco Rubio is courting the old-guard Miami Cubans who are still fuming about the Bay of Pigs. As a contrast to this tired and angry bloc, bring on Richard Blanco, the brilliant gay Cuban who served as Obama's inaugural poet in 2008, with his stirring poetic vision of Americans of every background living together under "One Sky."

To ensure victory, name Marilyn Mosby as your U.S. attorney general. She is the hot young African-American state's attorney for Baltimore who nailed the six cops for murder in the Freddy Grey case. Mosby will not only make people believe that "Black Lives Matter," but also remind them, just by showing up, that "Black is beautiful!"

Forget the polls and pundits, Bernie – Hillary and Biden are yesterday's news. Prepare to trump The Donald at his own game, and win.

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