Monday, April 2, 2012

Off Base: Wife swap for tickets; father tossing

Posted By on Mon, Apr 2, 2012 at 11:45 AM

5. Bulging what?!?

Amare Stoudamire has a bulging disk in his back that will keep him off the court for the rest of the season. Easy for me to say (type). Not so easy for a few broadcasters, who proclaimed Stoudamire has a "bulging dic#."

4. Dueling dialysis

University of Kentucky and University of Louisville are vicious college basketball rivals. They don't mess around. Not even while on dialysis. One UK fan and one L'ville fan got into fisticuffs while hooked up to dialysis machines.

The teams met in the Final Four this past weekend, with UK victorious. Then for some reason the victors' fans decided to destroy stuff:

3. Man offers wife in exchange for tickets

This is his unusual post from Craigslist:

"I am a UK fan wanting to go to the Final Four in N'Oleans. I have put up my wife as collateral. She can make you speak 5 languages you never knew you could speak. I am not feeling my best so I have to use my sexy mama to get me to the game. She is completely game, is a litte (sic) picky, but if you make her howl at the moon while making her speak portugese (sic) or something I don't get out of her then by all means.....have at it and let me see my UK Wildcats!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes it is bad to do this, but it (sic) the Kentucky faithful dammit. Look out for the Bluegrass State and hook this pimp up okay?"

2. Player removes his biggest fan

Bernard Tomic is a professional tennis player. His coach - and father - was really bothering him during a recent match. The younger Tomic requested the chair umpire remove the elder Tomic from the arena.

Tomic was heard in an exchange with the chair umpire: "He's annoying - I know he's my father - but he's annoying me. I want him to leave, but how's that possible?"

The good stuff starts at 1:40.

1. Sports tomfoolery

ESPN had some fun with one of their TV stars this April Fool's Day.

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